An NC State-UNC Trophy Idea

 

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© Tim Peeler, 2023

Someone asked me on Twitter what the trophy should be for the NC State-UNC-CH football rivalry. So I answered:

You refer, of course, to the Croatan Cup (TM), an ornately carved pine cone decorated with dogwood petals and a cardinal perched on top, hewed from an old-growth Long Leaf Pine. It sits on a triangular platform made of construction cones from I-40, I-85 and I-95.

Winner gets to take it home, but when they try to take it to the next year's game, it mysteriously won't be there.

For the next 365 days, the winner also gets to fly its logoed flag over the USS North Carolina in Wilmington to designate flagship status and atop Mount Mitchell so it can be seen from six states.

The game ball will be delivered to the appropriate stadium by (picture below):

Pregame military flyover should be a good mix of fighters from Cherry Point, Bragg and Seymour Johnson, with a light drizzle of paratroopers from the 82nd Airbourne, preferably unarmed.

The pregame coin toss will be conducted by the sitting governor. The coin will feature O. Max Gardner as heads and Jim Hunt as tails. Care will be provided by UNC Hospitals.

After every kickoff trained canine mascots, Plott hounds named Murphy and Manteo, will alternate retrieving the tee from field, with a great roar from the crowd. Care will be provided by NC State's College of Veterinary Medicine.

Halftime activities will be sponsored by the City of Asheville, which is halfway back to New York from Florida.

Title sponsor ideas:

• Bojangles

• Cheerwine

• Krispy Kreme

• RTI

In case of a tie, instead of overtime, one player from each team will be selected to complete a difficult challenge to decide the game. This will be called The Virginia Dare.

Winning coach will receive a bouquet of Venus Flytraps and doused by cooler full of Texas Pete. (Goggles not provided.)

The game's MVP will be required to shout "I'M GOING TO TWEETSIE" when accepting the Croatan Cup on behalf of his team.

Every player on losing team will receive a one-day pass to Carowinds (South Carolina side only).

Fans will be required to attend church the immediate next Sunday wearing a tie or scarf in the color of the winning team. Like Christmas and Easter, attendance will be mandatory. Other faith communities will similarly participate.