Singing On Opening Day

Earliest known recorded version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," including the rarely heard narrative verses about a girl named Katie, who would only go on a date with a new suitor if he took her to the ball game. Everyone deserves a Katie in their life.



© By Tim Peeler, 2019

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So I’ll will stipulate that “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” is the baseball’s greatest song, as long as whoever is singing it gets the “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack” right.

Anyone who calls baseball’s favorite snack “Cracker Jacks” deserves to choke on their caramelized popcorn.

Of course, you can avoid that possibility altogether by listening to North Carolina natives Doc and Merle Watson playing a fine instrumental bluegrass version.

And John Fogerty’s “Centerfield” is already in both the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown and Bull Durham. It doesn’t need any more accolades. But thanks, John, for teaching us how to clap in between innings for in-game marketing promotions.

For the record, one song that will never be considered by me as a great baseball song is Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days.” I love the song, and it was a staple during our college newspaper house parties, mainly because of the layout artist whose name sounded similar to the song title.

But for goodness sakes, a “speedball” is what whiffed Richard Pryor, not an opposing batter. I expect more of The Boss.

So, on Opening Day 2019, here are most of my favorite baseball tunes.

 

If you need me, I’ll be whistling.

“Jet Set” and “Gathering Crowds”

I’ll be honest, I never knew these songs actually had names. Both are classic 1970s synthesized compositions, overly dramatic in nature, but seared into my eternal mind. They are the opening and closing themes for what was my generation’s greatest baseball highlight show, Mel Allen’s “This Week in Baseball.”

It was, in fact, my generation’s only baseball highlight show, 30 glorious syndicated minutes of the best plays of the week, a little history and some pointers by baseball experts.

I appreciate it even more when I get stuck watching current highlight packages that do just about everything except tell me the damned score.

The opening music was kind of cheesy, like it was more suited for daytime game show. Which  it was, pilfered from NBC’s “Jackpot.” Mel Allen made much better use of it.

The voice of the New York Yankees play-by-play announcer always offered beautifully worded, excellently emphasized phrases on TWiB. Where I grew up, it always preceded a Saturday game on WRET, Ted Turner’s UHF Channel 36 station in Charlotte.

“Gathering Clouds” was the show’s closing theme, dramatically mixing the week’s best highlights with a long crescendo. Every episode ended with an extended three-chord note that seemed to last until Sunday became Monday.

Even watching the few saved segments I could find on YouTube, that note sounds like the fading memories of childhood.

“Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” by Meat Loaf

This is easily baseball’s horniest song, one of the many songs about teenage lust from Meat Loaf’s 1973 Bat Out of Hell rock operetta or, as it is better known, Springsteen For Theater Kids.

The singer -- Mr. Loaf to readers of the New York Times -- supposedly neglected to tell baseball play-by-play man Phil Rizuto that the spoken interlude Rizuto performed was an extended allegory about front-seat sex between two teenagers in a parked car.

It’s not the first time Phil had no idea what he was talking about during a broadcast.

“(Some Day We’ll Go) All the Way” by Eddie Vedder

Though the title suggests otherwise, this song isn’t about the same topic as the one above – it’s about the Chicago Cubs’ long World Series drought, written and sung by Pearl Jam’s frontman, an Illinois native and long-suffering Cubs fan.

It was turned into an official team video – of course – after the team from Wrigley Field finally won the 2016 World Series, ending Chicago’s Beantown-style curse.

 

“Talking Baseball” by Terry Cashman

Baseball's most syrupy song, released of all times, during the 1982 baseball strike.

You have to admit, any song that can incorporate Rusty Staub, 4-foot leadoff hitter Eddie Gaedel and Dubuque, Iowa, into one three-minute song is something special.

You also have to admit that The Simpsons’ “Talkin’ Softball” is probably almost as good.

 

“Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel

There are too many damned songs about damned Yankees, which of course is redundant. Pretty much all of them – from this one to “Joltin’ Joe” and the Mr. Coffee theme song –mention Joe DiMaggio.
 

This one, however, wasn’t actually about him. He was just the personification of something lost.

Neither Paul Simon nor Art Garfunkel nor Dustin Hoffman ever found it, I think, but Mrs. Robinson knew where it was, and for that, Jesus loves her more than she will know.

BOB DYLAN- Catfish from Keith Diaz on Vimeo.


“Catfish” by Bob Dylan

North Carolina’s favorite baseball son was hidden away on Dylan’s The Bootleg Series (Volumes 1-3), after this song was booted from Dylan’s 1976 No. 1 album Desire.

It is a bluesy paean to pitching and free agency. Only Dylan could make baseball political.

What could be better? Well, Bob could have mentioned the Hertford native’s boyhood friend, teammate and longtime bullpen catcher Francis Combs.

We can all agree, though, “Nobody can throw the ball … like Catfish can.”

Or at least could.

“(You Gotta Have) Heart” by the movie cast of Damn Yankees

This song makes the list because baseball’s only Broadway musical needed representation.

I saw this play with Jerry Lewis starring as Mr. Applegate on the West End in London. It was an amazing interpretation of the American pastime by a British cast, featuring the only person who could possibly get away with calling Lola, the long-legged temptress, “Hey, Laaaaaaaaady.”

It didn’t have Bob Fosse’s dusty choreography of “Shoeless Joe from Hannibal Mo” in the 1958 film version or the overt sexiness of Gwen Verdon in the clubhouse during “Whatever Lola Wants,” but seeing The King of Comedy in person was pretty spectacular.

“Karl’s Disco Weiner Haven” by Zander Schloss

There’s no mention of baseball whatsoever in this song from Alex Cox’s 1987 cult classic Straight to Hell, a tribute to spaghetti Westerns that stars Joe Strummer, Courtney Love, Grace Jones, Elvis Costello and every member of The Pogues – all collectively strung out on too much caffeine.

But it’s the only song worth listening to that is devoted solely to the hot dog, and it includes these lyrics: “Well, there ain’t nothing meaner than a weiner from Pasadena, from Karl’s Disco Weiner-tina Haven…They’re short and they’re long and they taste quite strong over at Karl’s Disco Weiner-tine Haven.”

It’s the first time I ever thought about putting salsa on a hot dog.

The version on the movie's soundtrack is better because of the Latin horn second that incorporates “Turkey in the Straw” with cantina music, but the gunshots in the movie clip create a little more excitement.

You can reach Tim Peeler at tim.peeler@mindspring.com.